Etymologies at Lancaster, 1984
Modern European History at Lancaster, 1985
Archaeology at Lancaster, 1985
Logic: Principles of Reasoning at Lancaster, 1986 | I was at CTY for three summers. I remember what a revelation it was to meet so many people who were so easy to talk to about anything. I had plenty of friends at home but did not always feel like I could be myself around them. Being away from home, there was the opportunity to "be whoever I wanted to be" with all new people. But what was fascinating was that I felt I was somehow able to be myself. It was invaluable to be in a setting where everyone was deeply intelligent and where being smart wasn't a "free pass" from having to think, the way it sometimes was in my regular school. Thoughtful questions were welcomed in class, not just "what's the correct answer" and, even more interesting, thoughtful questions were welcomed in social conversation, too. The challenges of CTY inspired me to look for people and situations that expected deep reflection in the rest of my life. I had a number of jobs for CTY over the years. As an RA and SRA I felt very connected to the kids' social experience, which had been such a significant aspect of my own CTY experience. I felt it was important that the residential program be full, rewarding, well thought out, and meet the kids' needs. When I moved to the instructional staff as a TA I saw how the kids' behavior and needs in class paralleled what I'd seen on the residential side. CTY seems to inspire a kind of deep bonding; I'm still friends with several of my CTY staff friends as well. Oh and I married one of them! I met my husband, Greg Lichtenberg, in 1992. I was an SRA, he was an instructor of Writing Skills - impossibly older than me. I had a schoolgirl crush and refilled my cranberry juice in the dining hall when I saw him near the juice dispenser. It was very much a CTY romance. After college I went to Columbia University Law School and went on to practice employment law as a litigator at a large firm in New York City. There was a lot I enjoyed about litigation, but as a long term option, the private practice of law didn't suit me. After my son was born, I returned to work full time, but about a year and a half later, with considerable agony, I left the practice of law. Ultimately I found a career and life balance that suited me, and my family, better. Nowadays I have a small business called A Mother is Born. I teach classes and workshops for pregnant women and new mothers, and I work privately with new parents as well, as a sleep counselor. And I draw on my experience as an employment lawyer to coach clients through negotiations with their employers for flexibility, part time arrangements, work-from-home and the like. There are about a million books and websites that tell you about your baby, but there is precious little that addresses the development of mothers. It's like as a culture we ignore half the dyad in this extremely important relationship. I was interested in learning what happened as women made the journey from woman to mother, and, ultimately I felt I'd like to be able to provide information and support on that side of things. One of the big challenges stems from a culture of guilt around motherhood. So often moms feel "guilty" about taking time for themselves, and worry that they ought to be doing something "for the baby" instead. This idea that we must never focus on ourselves and always focus on stimulating our babies is kind of backward. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your baby. I wish that was easier for people to believe. As for triumphs? The wonderful thing about this work is that everyone, using just creativity, intelligence and patience, grows into a more confident place in her role as a mother, a place where she finds and recognizes herself. That's incredibly rewarding to watch. |
